Recently, my office “upgraded” the bathrooms. Upgraded is encased in quotes because the so-called improvements have made life (by which I mean using the can) waaaaaaaaaay more difficult than it should be.

Where normal, manual toilets once stood, we now have auto-flushing toilets. Nothing wrong with that, right? WRONG: those motion-activated monsters tend to flush before the user has risen from the seat, resulting in an unintentional “undercarriage cleaning.” And, as one of my friends has pointed out, the toilets rarely flush what needs to be flushed. Ineffectual, they make a lot of noise and splash a lot of water around but don’t take care of business. Typical.

Similarly, the new motion-activated sinks piss me off to no end. I’m sure that said sinks are thought to be more hygienic than the manual kind, but they’re not (for real — read the study here). What’s more, the new sinks don’t allow the user to control water flow or temperature, resulting in a tepid, wimpy stream of water. Blech! I’m getting creepy-crawlies just thinking about my next potty trip…